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Lolita, my love...

I'm a twentysomething professional living in Milledgeville; I graduated with honors from a private college; I'm an unapologetic pretentious bitch about books; I write extensively; I wear hipster glasses. Nothing here is mine unless expressly stated.
Aug 3 '13
magnificenthoofbeasts:

purple-monkey-dish-washer:

hannanigans:

aaamaaazooon:

LET’S DO A REVIEW OF LISA FRANK© BRAND BERRY-SCENTED BODY WASH
WE GOT THIS SHIT AS A CHRISTMAS GIFT THANKS TO BERRY-SCENTED TUMBLR USER JENNYLOGGINS
I AM A HULKING, BURLY, MASCULINE MAN, SO USUALLY I USE OLD SPICE OR IRISH SPRING OR SOME MANLY SHIT LIKE THAT BUT TODAY I WAS OUT OF SOAP SO I USED THIS SHIT
FIRST OFF LET’S START WITH THE PACKAGING

THIS FUCKING RAINBOW-ASS UNICORN IS THERE IN THE SHOWER EVERY DAY, EVERY FUCKING DAY THIS LITTLE FAGGOT SITS THERE AND GIVES ME THAT SULTRY GAZE WHILE IM TRYING TO CLEAN MY VULNERABLE NAKED ASS


rub me on your body

ALSO IT’S WORTH NOTING THAT THIS SHIT COMES WITH A WARNING NOT ONLY TO KEEP IT OUT OF REACH OF CHILDREN BUT THAT PROLONGED EXPOSURE TO YOUR SKIN CAN GIVE YOU RASHES AND PROBABLY UNICORN HERPES OR SOME OTHER SHIT

IDK ABOUT YALL BUT LAST I CHECKED THE EXACT PURPOSE OF BODY WASH IS PROLONGED EXPOSURE TO YOUR SKIN SO THAT RIGHT THERE WAS A RED FLAG BUT I PROCEEDED, ALBEIT WITH PROPER PRECAUTION AS TO AVOID APPLYING AROUND MY EYES AS DIRECTED BY THE PACKAGING OF LISA FRANK© BRAND BERRY-SCENTED BODY WASH. ALSO IT SAYS TO KEEP IT OUT OF REACH OF CHILDREN WHICH LEADS ME TO BELIEVE THEY ARE MARKETING THIS PRODUCT NOT FOR CHILDREN BUT FOR GROWN MEN SUCH AS MYSELF
I APPLIED A GENEROUS AMOUNT TO MY HANDS TO BEGIN THE CLEANING.


i’m so fucked up

AND THAT WAS WHEN THE MOST POTENT SMELL OF ARTIFICIALLY FLAVORED BERRY I HAVE EVER EXPERIENCED IN MY LIFE HIT ME LIKE A FUCKING EARTHQUAKE
I NEARLY FELL OVER IN THE SHOWER. IT WAS SO FUCKING BERRY. IT WAS LIKE I MADE SWEET LOVE TO AN ANTHROPOMORPHIC BERRY WOMAN AND DOVE NOSE-FIRST INTO HER GUSHING FRUITY LOINS. THERE WAS NO FURTHER DOUBT THAT THIS WAS INDEED LISA FRANK© BRAND BERRY-SCENTED BODY WASH. IT’S NO WONDER LISA FRANK’S ART IS ALL SO COLORFUL, SHE’S FUCKING HIGH AS BALLS HUFFING HER BERRY-ASS BODY WASH.
IT GOT ME CLEAN BUT I HAVE A HEADACHE FROM ALL THAT FUCKING BERRY. I UNDERSTAND THE WARNING LABEL NOW. THIS SHIT IS PROBABLY TOXIC TO SMALL CHILDREN, IT’LL BERRY THEIR FUCKING BRAIN CELLS TO DEATH. DO NOT TRUST THAT SULTRY UNICORN. YOU SEE THE MILKY WHITE COLOR IT’S PROBABLY HIS SPOOGE IN THAT BOTTLE IT’S NOT EVEN BODY WASH I JUST CLEANED MYSELF WITH BUBBLY BERRY UNICORN BATTER
0/10 WOULD NOT BERRY AGAIN

I tried so hard not to reblog

^ don’t lie to me

Every single fucking time this comes onto my dash I laugh like a fucking maniac.

magnificenthoofbeasts:

purple-monkey-dish-washer:

hannanigans:

aaamaaazooon:

LET’S DO A REVIEW OF LISA FRANK© BRAND BERRY-SCENTED BODY WASH

WE GOT THIS SHIT AS A CHRISTMAS GIFT THANKS TO BERRY-SCENTED TUMBLR USER JENNYLOGGINS

I AM A HULKING, BURLY, MASCULINE MAN, SO USUALLY I USE OLD SPICE OR IRISH SPRING OR SOME MANLY SHIT LIKE THAT BUT TODAY I WAS OUT OF SOAP SO I USED THIS SHIT

FIRST OFF LET’S START WITH THE PACKAGING

image

THIS FUCKING RAINBOW-ASS UNICORN IS THERE IN THE SHOWER EVERY DAY, EVERY FUCKING DAY THIS LITTLE FAGGOT SITS THERE AND GIVES ME THAT SULTRY GAZE WHILE IM TRYING TO CLEAN MY VULNERABLE NAKED ASS

image

rub me on your body

ALSO IT’S WORTH NOTING THAT THIS SHIT COMES WITH A WARNING NOT ONLY TO KEEP IT OUT OF REACH OF CHILDREN BUT THAT PROLONGED EXPOSURE TO YOUR SKIN CAN GIVE YOU RASHES AND PROBABLY UNICORN HERPES OR SOME OTHER SHIT

image

IDK ABOUT YALL BUT LAST I CHECKED THE EXACT PURPOSE OF BODY WASH IS PROLONGED EXPOSURE TO YOUR SKIN SO THAT RIGHT THERE WAS A RED FLAG BUT I PROCEEDED, ALBEIT WITH PROPER PRECAUTION AS TO AVOID APPLYING AROUND MY EYES AS DIRECTED BY THE PACKAGING OF LISA FRANK© BRAND BERRY-SCENTED BODY WASH. ALSO IT SAYS TO KEEP IT OUT OF REACH OF CHILDREN WHICH LEADS ME TO BELIEVE THEY ARE MARKETING THIS PRODUCT NOT FOR CHILDREN BUT FOR GROWN MEN SUCH AS MYSELF

I APPLIED A GENEROUS AMOUNT TO MY HANDS TO BEGIN THE CLEANING.

image

i’m so fucked up

AND THAT WAS WHEN THE MOST POTENT SMELL OF ARTIFICIALLY FLAVORED BERRY I HAVE EVER EXPERIENCED IN MY LIFE HIT ME LIKE A FUCKING EARTHQUAKE

I NEARLY FELL OVER IN THE SHOWER. IT WAS SO FUCKING BERRY. IT WAS LIKE I MADE SWEET LOVE TO AN ANTHROPOMORPHIC BERRY WOMAN AND DOVE NOSE-FIRST INTO HER GUSHING FRUITY LOINS. THERE WAS NO FURTHER DOUBT THAT THIS WAS INDEED LISA FRANK© BRAND BERRY-SCENTED BODY WASH. IT’S NO WONDER LISA FRANK’S ART IS ALL SO COLORFUL, SHE’S FUCKING HIGH AS BALLS HUFFING HER BERRY-ASS BODY WASH.

IT GOT ME CLEAN BUT I HAVE A HEADACHE FROM ALL THAT FUCKING BERRY. I UNDERSTAND THE WARNING LABEL NOW. THIS SHIT IS PROBABLY TOXIC TO SMALL CHILDREN, IT’LL BERRY THEIR FUCKING BRAIN CELLS TO DEATH. DO NOT TRUST THAT SULTRY UNICORN. YOU SEE THE MILKY WHITE COLOR IT’S PROBABLY HIS SPOOGE IN THAT BOTTLE IT’S NOT EVEN BODY WASH I JUST CLEANED MYSELF WITH BUBBLY BERRY UNICORN BATTER

0/10 WOULD NOT BERRY AGAIN

I tried so hard not to reblog

^ don’t lie to me

Every single fucking time this comes onto my dash I laugh like a fucking maniac.

(Source: braingremlin)

Jul 10 '13
alimarko:

comfortspringstation:

Blow your MIND” Tomato Basil Pasta! - No Straining, just Stirring Throw it all in the pot, INCLUDING the uncooked Pasta, and cook! - Bring it to a boil, then reduce to a simmer. The starch leaches out of the pasta and makes a rich, warm sauce for the noodles. The other ingredients cook right along with the pasta Ingredients: 12 ounces pasta (Shown  Linguine) 1 can (15 ounces) diced tomatoes with liquid ( I used zesty red pepper flavor) 1 large sweet onion, cut in julienne strips 4 cloves garlic, thinly sliced 1/2 teaspoon red pepper flakes 2 teaspoons dried oregano leaves 2 large sprigs basil, chopped 4 1/2 cups vegetable broth (regular broth and NOT low sodium) 2 tablespoons extra virgin olive oil Directions: Place pasta, tomatoes, onion, garlic, basil, in a large stock pot. Pour in vegetable broth. Sprinkle on top the pepper flakes and oregano. Drizzle top with oil. Cover pot and bring to a boil. Reduce to a low simmer and keep covered and cook for about 10 minutes, stirring every 2 minutes or so. Cook until almost all liquid has evaporated – I left about an inch of liquid in the bottom of the pot – but you can reduce as desired . Season to taste with salt and pepper , stirring pasta several times to distribute the liquid in the bottom of the pot. 


Source: https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=596567610375551&set=a.577027822329530.1073741826.100000669513646&type=1&theater

Now that I have access to the freshest ingredients ever, uh
hell yeah I’m gonna make this <3


UPDATE: I made this for my roommate and I tonight
and goddamn, it’s fucking amazing, would recommend
And if you’re going to use canned tomatoes, I’d use either the largest can you can find, or two smaller ones. Ugh, leftovers for dayyyyys <3

alimarko:

comfortspringstation:

Blow your MIND” Tomato Basil Pasta! - No Straining, just Stirring
Throw it all in the pot, INCLUDING the uncooked Pasta, and cook! - Bring it to a boil, then reduce to a simmer. The starch leaches out of the pasta and makes a rich, warm sauce for the noodles. The other ingredients cook right along with the pasta

Ingredients:
12 ounces pasta (Shown  Linguine)
1 can (15 ounces) diced tomatoes with liquid ( I used zesty red pepper flavor)
1 large sweet onion, cut in julienne strips
4 cloves garlic, thinly sliced
1/2 teaspoon red pepper flakes
2 teaspoons dried oregano leaves
2 large sprigs basil, chopped
4 1/2 cups vegetable broth (regular broth and NOT low sodium)
2 tablespoons extra virgin olive oil


Directions:
Place pasta, tomatoes, onion, garlic, basil, in a large stock pot. Pour in vegetable broth. Sprinkle on top the pepper flakes and oregano. Drizzle top with oil.
Cover pot and bring to a boil. Reduce to a low simmer and keep covered and cook for about 10 minutes, stirring every 2 minutes or so. Cook until almost all liquid has evaporated – I left about an inch of liquid in the bottom of the pot – but you can reduce as desired .
Season to taste with salt and pepper , stirring pasta several times to distribute the liquid in the bottom of the pot. 

Source: https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=596567610375551&set=a.577027822329530.1073741826.100000669513646&type=1&theater

Now that I have access to the freshest ingredients ever, uh

hell yeah I’m gonna make this <3

UPDATE: I made this for my roommate and I tonight

and goddamn, it’s fucking amazing, would recommend

And if you’re going to use canned tomatoes, I’d use either the largest can you can find, or two smaller ones. Ugh, leftovers for dayyyyys <3

Jul 9 '13

milkteasympathy:

CLOTHING LIFE HACKS

(Source: viekastv)

Jul 9 '13

bethmai:

go to vogue.co.uk and type (on your keyboard) up, up, down, down, left, right, left, right, B, A and watch what happens when you keep pressing A

(Source: moaninglisasmile)

Jul 3 '13

quitetheunderstatement:

beautyintheinnocent:

rachel-actually:

violent-buddhist:

Scientists discover most relaxing tune ever

Sound therapists and Manchester band Marconi Union compiled the song. Scientists played it to 40 women and found it to be more effective at helping them relax than songs by Enya, Mozart and Coldplay.

Weightless works by using specific rhythms, tones, frequencies and intervals to relax the listener. A continuous rhythm of 60 BPM causes the brainwaves and heart rate to synchronise with the rhythm: a process known as ‘entrainment’. Low underlying bass tones relax the listener and a low whooshing sound with a trance-like quality takes the listener into an even deeper state of calm.

Dr David Lewis, one of the UK’s leading stress specialists said: “‘Weightless’ induced the greatest relaxation – higher than any of the other music tested. Brain imaging studies have shown that music works at a very deep level within the brain, stimulating not only those regions responsible for processing sound but also ones associated with emotions.”

The study - commissioned by bubble bath and shower gel firm Radox Spa - found the song was even more relaxing than a massage, walk or cup of tea. So relaxing is the tune, apparently, that people are being Rex advised against listening to it while driving.

The top 10 most relaxing tunes were: 1. Marconi Union - Weightless 2. Airstream - Electra 3. DJ Shah - Mellomaniac (Chill Out Mix) 4. Enya - Watermark 5. Coldplay - Strawberry Swing 6. Barcelona - Please Don’t Go 7. All Saints - Pure Shores 8. AdelevSomeone Like You 9. Mozart - Canzonetta Sull’aria 10. Cafe Del Mar - We Can Fly

my muscles stopped functioning 

my whole body just went numb and my eyes closed. 

I have to reblog this. I HAVE TO.

Jul 3 '13
carrielikethemovie:

thisisrapeculture:

takealookatyourlife:

skeptikhaleesi:

nikkiohhhh:

hai-zo-nut:

full-commujism:

duchampswag:

full-commujism:

OVER 40,000 LIKES
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME

fucking piss hell shit world

i have also just found out that a FIFTEEN YEAR OLD is on this page and she has been named, fuck this

This is fucked up

And they are allowing this to stay up? Seriously what the fuck

ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?  Report this shit.  Facebook can’t ignore us forever.People get their posts pulled for naming and shaming rapists, but this is just good fun?  Fuck the world.



Facebook still showing it’s true colors. Racist, sexist, rape-promomoting.
Please boost and report. 

This is disgusting.

carrielikethemovie:

thisisrapeculture:

takealookatyourlife:

skeptikhaleesi:

nikkiohhhh:

hai-zo-nut:

full-commujism:

duchampswag:

full-commujism:

OVER 40,000 LIKES

ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME

fucking piss hell shit world

i have also just found out that a FIFTEEN YEAR OLD is on this page and she has been named, fuck this

This is fucked up

And they are allowing this to stay up? Seriously what the fuck

ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?  Report this shit.  Facebook can’t ignore us forever.

People get their posts pulled for naming and shaming rapists, but this is just good fun?  Fuck the world.

Facebook still showing it’s true colors. Racist, sexist, rape-promomoting.

Please boost and report. 

This is disgusting.

(Source: proletarianprincess)

Jul 3 '13

arealhorrorshowsinny:

Apparently because I’m supposed to have good taste in movies or something. I don’t necessarily believe that because I can find good in almost every movie I see, but yeah, here’s a masterpost of movies you should watch because they’re all pretty good, if not great.

Bold ones are highly recommended; bold and italics mean we might have a problem if you don’t watch this movie.

Horror:
Movies designed to frighten or disturb the viewer, with more gore than thrillers.

28 Days Later
The Cabin in the Woods
The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari
The Exorcist
Halloween (1978)
Nosferatu, eine Symphonie des Grauens
The Omen (1976)
Saw

Thriller/Psychological Horror:
Films that primarily use suspense, tension and excitement to elicit a reaction in the viewer. Often overlaps with horror, but with less gore.

A Clockwork Orange
Donnie Darko
Inception
Memento
The Prestige
Psycho
Red Dragon
Rosemary’s Baby
Shutter Island
The Silence of the Lambs
The Sixth Sense

Found Footage:
A very specific type of filmmaking, used most commonly in horror, in which the film is presented as if the events on tape “actually happened” and were discovered on tapes or in files left behind by missing or dead protagonists.

The Blair Witch Project
Cloverfield
Home Movie

Drama:
Films that focus mostly on in-depth character development as opposed to elaborate action sequences or shocking viewers. These films are often nominated for Academy Awards.

All the President’s Men
Casablanca
Citizen Kane
The Godfather
Taxi Driver

Action:
Movies that put the heroes in situations where they face incredible odds and must physically fight their way out. Lots of explosions. Lots.

The Boondock Saints
Raiders of the Lost Ark
Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom
Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade
Looper
Push
Star Trek (2009)
Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope
Star Wars Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back
Star Wars Episode VI: Return of the Jedi

Comic Book Movies:
Movies based, however loosely, on characters originating in comic books and graphic novels.

The Avengers
Batman (1989)
Batman Begins
The Dark Knight
The Dark Knight Rises
Captain America: The First Avenger
Iron Man
Iron Man 2
Scott Pilgrim vs. the World
Thor
V for Vendetta
Watchmen
X-Men
X2
X-Men: The Last Stand
X-Men: First Class

Comedy:
Films designed to elicit laughter from the audience. The main emphasis is, obviously, on humor.

Back to the Future
The Breakfast Club
City Lights
Ferris Bueller’s Day Off
Ghostbusters
Mean Girls
Men in Black
Monty Python and the Holy Grail
Pitch Perfect
The Princess Bride
Shaun of the Dead

Animated Movies:
Exactly what it says on the tin.

Batman: Under the Red Hood
Chicken Run
Coraline
Corpse Bride
The Emperor’s New Groove
Finding Nemo
The Hunchback of Notre Dame
The Incredibles
Monsters, Inc.
ParaNorman
The Prince of Egypt
Rise of the Guardians
Tangled
Toy Story
Toy Story 2
Toy Story 3
Treasure Planet
Up

Musicals:
Movies marked by their usage of songs sung by the characters and woven into the narrative.

Across the Universe
Dr. Horrible’s Sing-Along Blog
Grease
Moulin Rouge!
The Producers (2005)
Repo! The Genetic Opera
Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street

The Filmography of Quentin Tarantino:
Tarantino films are a genre to themselves. They’re even better if you watch them in the order they came out. (I will go ahead and say that I haven’t seen either Kill Bill movie yet, but if they’re like his other movies, they are fantastic.) This list does not include Jackie Brown or Grindhouse, due to those not being solely Tarantino.

Reservoir Dogs
Pulp Fiction

Kill Bill: Volume 1
Kill Bill: Volume 2
Inglourious Basterds
Django Unchained

So Bad They’re Good:
Just trust me. I haven’t seen all of these, either, but my friends and family swear by them.

Birdemic: Shock and Terror
Chupacabra vs. the Alamo
Manos: The Hands of Fate
Plan 9 From Outer Space
The Room
Stonehenge Apocalypse

Other:
Movies I’ve missed in other categories.

Bicycle Thieves (Ladri di biciclette)
Edward Scissorhands
The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus
Labyrinth
Nowhere in Africa (Nirgwendo in Afrika)
Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl
Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest
Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End

Let me know if a link is broken, and tell me what you think of the movies if you watch any of them!

(Source: turianosaurus-wrex)

Jul 2 '13

killjoyvamp-trekkervendetta:

nanibgal:

howardhill101:

amymexy:

mr-egbutt:

ascenti:

totallyfubar:

paragonpostcards:

helioscentrifuge:

Sorry not sorry.

The men of tumblr unite. Because this is more than fighting the patriarchy, this is fighting for the voice of the people.

image

*Phone rings*

image

THE FUCK DID YOU SAY THE PATRIARCHY WAS UP TO?

image

I’M ON MY WAY.

*Banana Rings*

Who is this how did you get this numb—THE PATRIARCHY IS DOING WHTA

SAVE SOME PATRIARCH BLOOD FOR US

3:01PM SYDNEY TIME

Hello?

Patriarchy WHAT?!

AW HELL NO

I’M COMIN YOU MOTHERFUCKERS I DON’T EVEN CARE IF THEY DON’T LET ME ON A PLANE

Fucking bro strider come out!! Omg HAHAHAAH I love theses guys

Meanwhile In England……


"Jolly great bit of Tea"

-Phone Rings- 

"THE PATRIARCHY DOING WHAT!?!!?!?!"

"Those Bloody Wankers!!!!!!"

"It Looks Like Tea Time Is Going To Have To Wait"

"It’s A Jolly Good Thing I kept My Old Equipment…."

"All Right Old Chaps, Im On My Way!!!"

"TALLY-HO!!!!!"

I just reblogged this, but IT GOT BETTER.

wish I was this cool

MEN OF TUMBLR I SALUTE YOU

Jul 2 '13
angelarzxu:

pleasantly-stranger:

lupinswilly:

neonninjahair:

hayaustin:

The greatest of the Disney pictures. I dare you to find a better one.

omfg asdfghjkl

Found a better one.  

PRINCESS KUZCO DON’T KNEEL FOR NOBODY.

I’d work at Disneyland just for this

angelarzxu:

pleasantly-stranger:

lupinswilly:

neonninjahair:

hayaustin:

The greatest of the Disney pictures. I dare you to find a better one.

omfg asdfghjkl

Found a better one. 
image 

PRINCESS KUZCO DON’T KNEEL FOR NOBODY.

I’d work at Disneyland just for this

Jul 2 '13